The Communist Gouletfesto

Underlying our adventures is the basic fact that the 3 Global Goulets share everything. I will now attempt to list all things we’ve communized:

Sleeping Quarters: whether in our shithole discounted tent, inside of the cramped Auto Goulet, or in dorm-style hostels, we spend not a night more than a foot apart.

All Expenses: from gas, to ATM withdrawals, to Brian’s scarf, to Snickers breakfasts, to broken toilets, each purchase costs each of us 1/3 of the total.

Driving: we operate strictly in two hour shifts; when we’re in a hurry and we just can’t bother to stop somewhere to sleep for the night, the backseat person sleeps, while the passenger seat is tasked with navigation duties, DJ responsibilities, and general entertainment to keep the sleepy driver alert.

Uploading Footage: probably the most consistent pain in the ass across our travels is the need to back up our footage onto hard drives and then clear the memory cards clean. Sorry back seat!

Video Narration: oh, you’re doing another narration! Fine, give me the camera when you’re done, I’ve got something to say into it…

Pee Pee Color: because we drink water, soda, horse milk and vodka at an equal rate. Speaking of which…

Water: especially if we’re in the desert where water is a sparse commodity, a sip from the water well by one of us always leads to a sip by the other 2.

Food: we all order the same thing. “I’ll have what he’s having.” If by chance we order different things, a strict and timed rotation is enforced to ensure equal tasting of each dish. When we eat ramen during camping nights, the procedure is “bite and pass.”

Dirt and Odor Collection: spending week after week on the road means 1) we get really dirty and 2) we rarely shower

Underwear: when you shower as infrequently as we did, you wear the same pair of undies for days in a row. The solution? Exofficio! We just may have accidentally shared exofficios at some point

Farts: it’s never clear who released that last gassy explosion.

So what was the point of all this? And what the hell is the meaning of Stonehenge? Read on for Mongol Rally: What We Learned.

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One thought on “The Communist Gouletfesto

  1. SharOn Doochin says:

    Hi Ho and all that jazz, I’m so proud, happy and just silly with excitement…you got my attention and I’m taking notes!!!!!!
    just Aunt sharingOn with the Goulet’s….sharOn, sharOn comments and pictures…oh yeah, please be safe 😀

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